The Lecture

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, "I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body."

The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replies, "That would be my wife."

Disclaimer by yours truly...I know the above joke implies drunk driving and drunk driving is NOT funny at all. Feel free to change the man's first reply to the officer to card playing, watching movies or anything else that might have him out at that hour if that line really bothers you. I  just thought the little old guy was cute and the title of "The Lecture" leads into my thoughts for today's post.

Do you lecture adults in your life? I don't think I do, at least not often. I am an easy going person. If you tell me I should try ABC brand of toothpaste, I'll store that suggestion.  Tell me I should go to XYZ on our next vacation because of the fun you had there, I'll consider that too. However, tell me that I should lose weight, exercise more, or cover the gray in my hair and I will tune you out.

Some things in life are matters of opinion, like coloring your hair or letting it go natural. Your choice isn't necessarily mine and I would never presume to tell you my way is right and yours is wrong.

When it comes to self-improvement and changing habits, that is a sensitive matter. There isn't an adult in America that doesn't know that being overweight is not good for them. Same thing with smoking, drinking more than occasionally and in moderation, tanning themselves in real sun or in tanning salons, and so on. We all know what we should be doing differently. Whatever our reasons to remain at status quo, we are either struggling with making changes or have dug our heels in and don't want to hear what we should do from someone not standing in our shoes.

I don't often encounter people who direct lectures at me but I do hear them. A husband who tells his wife to lose weight (especially making this comment in front of others) might have the misguided impression he is encouraging her and it truly concerned for her health. What is the first reaction of most people put on the spot like this?..... Oh yeah? You're not so perfect!  

My husband and I once witnessed a wife berate her husband for his choice in a restaurant in front of 3 other couples. Not just a mild remark, a full fledged harangue. We know that the husband was steamed but determined not to respond or react in front of others. When her order arrived, she didn't like it and ate half of her husband's "stupid" choice. Even though I am a non-confrontational peace loving person, I wanted to shove the entire plate in her face.

Lectures don't work well with adults unless they have paid to listen to you as a speaker. Even then, there is a way to reach people without belittling them. The Golden Rule does apply. 

Ahem.  Now, I hate to contradict myself and be critical, but don't you think you've sat here long enough reading? Shouldn't you be cleaning house? balancing your checkbook? working out? curing diseases or creating world peace?

No??

Well okay then, come back, sit down, have a drink, light up if you smoke, and get a spoon and I'll share my virtual sundae with you.