I've hurt someone and I am deeply ashamed of myself. I've apologized but I don't know that the person will ever being willing to accept it. I'm not sure I would if the situation was reversed.
There was absolutely no excuse for what I did. It wasn't said to face to face in the heat of a passionate argument over a contested issue. That would have been bad enough. I was critical of behavior that was none of my business, and said it to another person, not intending for this to be heard. That makes me mean and stupid. I'm not advocating being cautious as a pass to being mean, but not being careful that the person wouldn't hear me...does that show how out of control I was?
My dad used to say "just because other people are nasty, you don't have to be nasty too". I usually live this way but fell into an ugly pool of snide commenting. Even though I've climbed out of that pool and tried to shake all residue of snideness off, the stink is still there.
Have you ever done something like this? Besides regret for hurting someone's feelings and shame for my behavior, I am lost as to what to do. I don't think there is any physical act I can perform to make this person feel better and I'm sure they don't want to hear anything more from me for quite a while, if ever again.
Beating myself up hasn't helped either of us, so I am making a concentrated effort to be a better, kinder and more patient person who remembers her father's advice. I'll get back to light and hopefully amusing stories in my next post. Give yourself a hug today and smile at a stranger. Maybe that smile will brighten the day of someone who was undeservedly hurt, and a smile will look good on you and on your soul.