Thursday, August 16, 2012

Hilarity lives!

Are you a gadget person? I am, to a degree. If I think a gadget is going to be helpful, doesn't take up much storage space, and doesn't cost an arm and a leg, I've probably at least considered buying it. This would explain why I've always had an egg slicer but never owned a treadmill.

My sister-in-law thought an egg slicer was frivolous until she watched me make egg salad one day. She now has one too.

We've probably all seen gadgets advertised on TV that are only available at their website (seldom true), come with lifetime guaranties (?), and wait....if you order within the next 15 minutes, you will get two of the items for the price of one! Never mind that shipping and handling of that second item will boost the price to more than what the item sells for in the "as seen on TV" aisle in your local store.

Some people, upon viewing these gadgets, will immediately proclaim them a waste of time and money. Others will think these are wonderful inventions, want one (or two or three) and wonder why nobody has thought to make these things before.

Other than word of mouth, do you ever hear or read a review of gadgets? No? You need to look at items on Amazon. Today I bring you the Banana Slicer. Can you believe it?...more than one company manufactures this item.

Should you need help in deciding whether to order one for yourself or as a gift for a loved one, check some of the reviews:
5.0 out of 5 stars  No more winning for you, Mr Banana!  March 3, 2011
For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I'll call it South Side Story.
Banana slicer...thanks to you, I see greatness on the horizon. 

5.0 out of 5 stars Innovators! Changing the Naner Industry!, August 13, 2012
I  bought the Victorio Kitchen Products 571B Banana Slicer with the intention of increasing productivity at my new vending business, `Naner-on-a-Pick'. With the recent upswing in the economy, the market was `ripe' for a vending cart that specialized in naner slices on toothpicks and I swooped in to corner the business. We had the usual growing pains, but when business started to sky-rocket, I was left without a way to cut uniform naner slices on the fly; enter the Victorio Kitchen Products 571B Banana Slicer. At first we had issues with this product; too often the naners were curved in the opposite direction of the slicer. This frequently left us with non-uniform naner slices and even worse, uncut naner ends where the naner curved outside of the Victorio Kitchen Products 571B Banana Slicer's frame (`naner waste' is the bane of our industry). In frustration I wrote to Victorio Kitchen Products and remarkably, Victor V Victorio himself flew out to address our issue. He studied our dilemma for 3 days and flew in 3 additional Nanologists. Well, finally, after six months and 7 prototypes, they designed and fabricated a machine that makes every naner curve the same way as the Victorio Kitchen Products 571B Banana Slicer. I'm not sure how the `Nanerflipper 2013' works, but I thank my stars every day for it. It's the best $127,209.99 I ever spent.  
And one last example that may offend some, but with my sense of humor, this made me snort-laugh:
5.0 out of 5 stars Works exactly as advertised., August 11, 2012
Great product; works exactly as advertised. I will never go back to slicing bananas with knives.

Also great for cutting elk penis into bite-sized pieces.
I am greatly amused that 64 people took the time to write amusing reviews. They can be seen here. I hope I haven't done anything wrong by quoting the reviews here. These three reviews can be identified at the Amazon site by the review title, shown in bold font.

Decide for yourself if a banana slicer is in your future, but take my advice and get yourself a good egg slicer. It is more than a gadget, it's a tool.


Chatty Crone said...

Aren't people great? I would love one of those. sandie

Rudee said...

Poor elk. Really, someone uses that thing to slice an elk's penis?

I will stick to a paring knife with which to slice my "naners."