Travel advice, Knitty style

Before I begin, let me assure you that I love my husband and sons dearly. But they are men. Thank goodness I am a saint. Aren't I cute with my diamond ring halo?

My first piece of advice would be to leave on time. Sure we weren't catching a plane, but getting though rush hour traffic in Detroit with the least amount of hassle requires leaving a certain son's house by 6 AM. That certain son was so sound asleep, he didn't hear his cell phone ring. He didn't hear his house phone ring. He didn't hear his doorbell ring. He didn't hear his dad and brother walk into his room. Hubby Bill doesn't have this problem any longer, but turn the calendar back thirty four years and we see history really does repeat itself.

My next piece of advice seems obvious, but stay alert. We went through a spell of hurry up, slow down traffic when suddenly the slow down came to a dead stop. We shuddered a bit to a stop as did the two cars behind us. The next one after that may have had his or her attention diverted (cell phone? text message? eating? drinking? applying makeup? all things we saw more than once that morning) and two cars crashed together. Not more than 15 minutes later we saw a cloud of dust and debris as a semi swerved from the right lane all the way over to the left. A smaller box truck had blown a left front tire. He managed to get from the middle lane off the freeway onto the right shoulder driving on his rim. Kudos to both him and the semi driver for keeping their trucks under control. That could have been very bad.

If you are the sainted female of the trip and the owner of a GPS device, you may want to ask your husband, without a trace of sarcasm in your voice, if he would like you to change the voice of the GPS to a male voice so that it will be easier for him to follow directions. I'm not saying that most men don't take direction from females well, I'm just saying that Mandy, the GPS voice was right. Often. And a bit of further advice...the hard part will be keeping the sarcasm out of your own voice.

After 11 hours in a car that is very full of bodies and stuff, getting out in the parking lot of your hotel will feel like heaven. Discovering that your suite is up a flight of stairs will feel a bit hellish. We stayed at a Residence Inn, in a suite called a penthouse. There are eight units per building, four to each side with two down and two up. The penthouses mean that they have two king size beds in them, one on the main level and one above in a loft. It was a very efficient use of space and quite comfortable for the four of us. With three manly men and one wimp saint, it only took two trips to get everything unloaded from the car.

My next bit of advice would be that you check the heat and air conditioning right away. Don't let things like being tired and hungry or a phone call that we should meet 15 other people for dinner in 10 minutes distract you. We came home from dinner and a visit at the bride's parents home and all fell into bed. The next morning was busy getting ready for the bridal luncheon (me) and pizza with the guys (for all the men of the bridal party and guests). I thought the room was warm before we left, but I attributed it to the shower and hurrying. I was the first one back in the room. Hmmm, the thermostat was set at 70* but it was 82* inside. I pushed every button on the box. Nothing happened. Someone from the front desk came up. Oops! Looks like our air conditioner was out of freon. The penthouse suite behind us was open. One saint and three grumps packed up everything and lugged it down a flight of stairs, around the building and up a flight of stairs, twice, into an identical room with a working air conditioner. The Residence Inn adjusted our bill for the inconvenience. I have no complaints with them.

I could include a recommendation that oldest sons should avoid eating certain foods before long car trips. Consumption of said foods did not require extra rest stops, but did require windows being rolled down completely. I could include this, but I wouldn't want to embarrass my son.

My last words of wisdom would be to make sure you read the sign carefully when you pick a restaurant for dinner on the way home. There used to be a few restaurants in Michigan with a name that was one letter different from a name we saw when we got off of I-75 for a meal and to refuel. We pulled into what we thought would be a restaurant we recognized. Boy, were we wrong! I don't want to risk hurting anyone's feelings by mentioning the restaurant's name or even the location. The place was clean, the waitress was friendly and the food was ok. As for the clientele....let's just say that bras and teeth were optional!

The advertising executives at American Express would like you to remember not to leave home without it. I think the most important "it" you should always take with you is your sense of humor. A diamond ring halo is always handy too.