Step away from the mystery omelet

I like eggs. I enjoy them in all forms and at any time of day. I don't think I am particularly fussy and have eaten scrabbled eggs that were a little dry and over easy eggs that had whites still a little runny. Neither would be my favorite, but it takes a lot before I actually make an ugly face and give up.

Until today, the worst omelet I've encountered was at a chain restaurant near home. Their idea of a cheese omelet is a slice of cheese inside the fold of an omelet, the slice being so thick it doesn't begin to melt. More cheese, again a slice, is served on top of the omelet. Chewy is not a desirable adjective for omelets.

This morning I had a pre-made cheese omelet at a breakfast bar of a national chain hotel. If the idea of a pre-made omelet in a barely warm warming tray screams at you to STOP please heed that inner voice. I should have taken a photo but I'm not sure how to include pictures while posting from my iPad. I tried it with the same bravado as my first taste of mussels. Those I enjoyed, and still do, despite their appearance.

Do you remember Hostess fruit pies? (Do they still make them?) The omelet looked like a very yellow fruit pie. The surface was very smooth and the edges of the folded circle looked crimped. How do you crimp an egg?

The answer is you don't. Or at least, you shouldn't.

Is this problem covered by a show on the Food Network? I think I'll look that up, not that I can necessarily call from here. The phone is apparently quirky. What a charming term, eh? The wake up service didn't work and the nightstand lamps stopped working overnight. Did I mention that this a national chain but not one that I chose?

I figure three more faults and hubby will have to swallow his pride and say those painful words: "Yes, dear, you were right".

Until then, I am waiting patiently, in dim light and hungry.