Retirement

Bill got this funny in an email. Besides the obvious jokes, it made us laugh because lately we've been so busy, we are barely keeping up with basic house and yard work that we squeezed in when we both worked full time.  The email was titled Why I Love Retirement.

Question:  How many days in a week? Answer:    6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?  
Answer:    Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question:   How many retirees to change a light bulb?   
Answer:     Only one, but it might take all day.

Question:  What's the biggest gripe of retirees?  
Answer:     There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question:  Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?   
Answer:    The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?   
Answer:    Tied shoes.

Question:  Why do retirees count pennies? 
Answer:     They are the only ones who have the time.

Question:  What is the common term for someone who continues to work and refuses to retire? 
Answer:     NUTS!

Question:  Why are retirees so slow to  clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer:       They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question:   What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer:      Normal


Question:  What is the best way to describe retirement?  
Answer:    The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?   
Answer :    If you cut classes, no one can call your parents. Question: Why does a retiree often say he  doesn't miss work, but  misses the people he used to work with? 
Answer:    He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do you do all week?
Answer:    Monday to Friday; Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest. 


I might get to rest this coming Saturday, but if we go to the cottage it won't be until after I've grocery shopped, packed then unpacked and cleaned after we get there.  Somehow I managed when we both worked but now I think I need a personal assistant!