Friday, May 10, 2013

A little chat and a few groan worthy puns

Ever think you are over-thinking things, making them more difficult than necessary? Maybe thinking about this question is a trap!

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

I found myself stuck in a knitting pattern, one for socks that I've used many times. What the heck was wrong with me? I had been mulling over problems, some of which aren't even mine to solve, and was at a point in the sock that I needed to pay a bit of attention and count my stitches. I didn't pay close attention on the first attempt, miscounted on the second and then I nearly convinced myself I was losing my mind. Common sense told me to set it down for a while but stubbornness said conquer this now! Stubbornness lost after costing me a big block of time, but all is well again after stepping away and getting some perspective.

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

It wasn't just the knitting directions that needed a break and some perspective. I began to post a few days ago about my happiness having a limp but what I had written was poorly stated and made me feel worse. My diagnosis was accurate, the cause was some negative people and the remedy has been limiting time with them when possible and taking less of what they say to heart when I must interact with them. Their glasses are not only half empty, they are dirty, leaking and apparently made of a toxic substance poisoning their well beings.  Funny how those truly facing a crisis are more pleasant to be around, even when they need to rage a bit or cry on a welcome shoulder.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Getting back to pattern directions, for those of you who are experienced sewers, do you ever wonder about the directions and illustrations in patterns by some of the major manufacturers? A 5/8-inch seam allowance, particularly in knit fabric, is silly in most cases. I recently made two pair of pajamas for my grandson and after assembling them, cut the seams down to eliminate bulk. There aren't the variety of patterns for little boys that I had when my 33 and 35 year old sons were little, but then again, I don't know that many women who still sew garments and kids sleep in different apparel now, often random tees and boxers. Oh well. I had fun making the pajamas and that is exactly what I needed.
The blue shorts have Thomas the Tank Engine all over them. Colton was very happy to have "Thomas pants!"

A termite walks into a barroom and asks,
"Is the bar tender here?"

I'm also giving up some TV shows that while technically well done, have become too violent and show more corruption than I can view and dismiss. Perhaps if the newscasts weren't so similar to this "entertainment" I'd be ok. I need Carol Burnett walking down a staircase wearing green velvet drapes....still attached to a curtain make me feel good about prime time TV again.

What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?
Lots of room.

If that last lame joke didn't send you running for cover, I will now wish you a joyous weekend and a happy Mother's Day to those here in USA who are celebrating.

Why are proctologists so gloomy?
They always have the end in sight.

1 comment:

Rudee said...

Sometimes one must cast out the gloomy gusses whose only joy is to drag others into the mire. They sap our joy.

Happy Mother's Day! I hope you find your own joy today.