I think the women in the photos I've included today look great. If they look older than 40-something it is because they ARE older than 40 something!
Before gray began moving in on my head, my hair was such a dark brown that my husband insisted it was black. Dyeing my hair that shade was way too harsh. How much of that is my perception of unnatural color (like purple hair which is fine if you're aim is fun and funky) and how much is the more subtle slide of coloring in complexion, eyebrows and even irises that no longer "work" with that dark color?
Jamie Lee Curtis
A new stylist suggested highlights to blend the naturally gray hairs when I told her I wanted to grow out the dyed hair without an obvious line of new growth. She turned me an awful shade of blond with brown streaks. She recognized my horror and promptly redid the color, this time with lowlights instead of highlights. I continued the lowlights until the last of the dye job grew out.
I am ok with my hair now. It is dark hair with a lot of gray in it. I shortened it a bit and had layers cut into it. Most days I wash it, let it air dry and enjoy soft waves and curls. There are certain styles I could never pull off because my hair isn't the right texture and I'm not interested in spending 30 minutes styling my hair daily. Been there, done that, don't plan on going back.
I would never tell someone to stop coloring their hair or to change the style, so why do some people feel it is ok to ask others why they don't cover their gray? It hasn't happened to me, but I have witnessed this. Maybe my expression stopped them from asking me the same question.
There is no right or wrong to the question of gray hair. It is all personal preference, just like Coke or Pepsi; coffee or tea; and should the toilet paper hang with the paper over the top to the front of the hanging roll or along the backside of the roll. I am currently going to a new stylist much closer to home. I like the way he cuts my hair but if he asks me once more about coloring it, he may be history.
Love your grey hair and the blog Going gray
And by the way, gray hair or not is optional, but the other choices should definitely be Coke, coffee and over the top.