How the Internet Started

Special thanks to my friend Theresa for sending me this in an email. I love that when world, national and local news seem to compete for the most depressing news of the day, reading emails and blog entries can restore a smile and maybe even cause a snort or a snicker. I hope you enjoy this too. 

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.  And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.  Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price.  And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.  And the drums rang out and were an immediate success.  Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.  To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung.  They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land.  And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drum heads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."  And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."  "YAHOO," said Abraham.  And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began.  And that's the truth. Sorry, Al Gore, wherever you are.

You can dress a pig, but he is still a pig

Did you see what the esteemed (cough, cough, dripping with sarcasm) former governor of California wore to go bike riding?

Maria's staff had these shirts made up as a joke when he and Maria left office. Someone recently gave Arnold one with 2007 (when they took over the gubernatorial mansion) crossed out and 1977 entered, the year they met I guess. The TMZ article says 1977-2011 represents the length of their relationship. Their separation was announced right after their 25th anniversary.

If my husband cheated on me for decades, I doubt he would have legs left to pedal a bicycle, but for the sake of my ramblings, let's say he did and decided to wear a T-shirt like this in public. Paparazzi doesn't follow Bill around. No one would be interested in his personal declaration except possibly our sons. If Arnold doesn't have the decency to feign embarrassment and contriteness for Maria, you'd think he could do so for their children. We don't know what Maria was like in private, but publicly she has been a class act. I don't care if she was the Wicked Witch of the West, he was the one who screwed up, literally and figuratively.

He is living proof that you can put a shirt on a pig, but he'll remain just a pig.

B is for Busy

Thanks to a program called Super Why (on PBS and Sprout TV), my grandson Colton is becoming interested in letters.

He takes his mommy's finger and points to letters in his books. He wants her to say the letters. He is 17 months old this week. Does this make him the smartest boy in the world? I wouldn't want to go that far. I'll settle for claiming him the smartest 17 month old in my world.

Because I love reading, love working with paper, and love the lil guy to pieces, I decided to make him a very personal ABC book. I should probably wait until it is done to show you the pages, but I wouldn't have anything to blog about if I did that.

Most of the pages in these photos look buckled. They aren't, but the old cutting mat that I am using under them is. I coulda~shoulda~woulda moved them elsewhere to photograph the pages but I've run out of room with paper, die cutters, stamps, glitter glue, pretty much any and everything related to scrapbooking all over the craft room.

Here are the pages so far, with "G" missing because I am waiting on photos of the other grandpa before deciding a page layout. The A page is waiting for a photo of another aunt before it is complete.

Family photos and Sprout TV characters will be prominent throughout. Some letters are really difficult when it comes to finding an object that someone this young will recognize. Take the letter "I" for example. Colton doesn't know igloo or ink. Verbs like "dance" or "jump" in a static photo won't work at this age either.

If Colton enjoys this a fraction as much as I've enjoyed putting this together, I will be very happy.

Move over Super Why ... Super Knitty is the new kid on the block!

Friday Funny

From an email this morning, forwarded by my retired husband, an anti-shopper:

 RETIRED HUSBAND 

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.  Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.  Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

  

Dear Mrs. Harris, 

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras: 

 1.  June 15 :   He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 

2.  July 2 :   Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 

(Number 3 has been removed because it wasn't funny, just ugly)

4.  July 19 :   Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 

5.  August 4 :   Went to the service desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. 

6.  August 14 :   Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 

7.  August 15 :   Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged. 

 8.  August 23 :   When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called. 

 9.  September 4 :   Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 

10.  September 10 : While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 

11.  October 3 : Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme. 

 12.  October 6 :   In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna  look' by using different sizes of funnels. 

13.  October 18 :   Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 

14.  October 21 : When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' 

 And last, but not least: 

15.  October 23 :   Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out. 

Who would have thought it was easier shopping with multiple toddlers than one retired husband? I think the moral here is to let him stay home. It's often better if he doesn't see what you're buying anyway.  

Apparently men have never liked to shop:

Mini cupcakes

I've had a pan for mini cupcakes for ages, but had never made them. I used it for mini muffins right after it was given to me. Despite being non-stick, the muffins stuck. I didn't have little liners back then. After cleaning the pan, I stuck it up in the seldom-used-items cabinet.

Cupcake mania seems to have hit America a year or more ago and isn't showing any sign of easing up yet. Cupcake cookbooks, TV programs and specialty bakeries are everywhere.

I've always liked cupcakes and decided it was time to get that pan out and buy the appropriate size liners. Duncan Hines lemon cake mix was used along with my own butter cream frosting. I was surprised at how many one cake mix made: 6 dozen! I ran out of butter cream frosting and didn't have more butter softened so I cheated and used canned chocolate frosting to finish decorating them. I knew Bill wouldn't mind a few chocolate ones. He would have preferred the entire cupcake be chocolate. All of them!

I used star tips on five colors of icing plus the chocolate. Since making these I used a Michaels coupon and bought a really large star tip. I think one big star will cover these little cuties.

The size is great. Two bites (three if you're polite, one if you're a ravenous piggy) and a yield of 6 dozen means you can share them with many people. I took two dozen to my knitting group, gave some to both sons, took some to the cottage to share with neighbors there and we still have 8 here, a week later. That wouldn't have happened with full sized cupcakes. They'd be long gone. It isn't that we like these less, it is about portion control.

If you're wondering what they are sitting on in the above picture, it is a Wilton cake and cupcake carrier. This was one of my best purchases via a 50% off coupon at Joann's a year ago.

I bought it to use when transporting a decorated 9x13 cake. The cupcake insert is a separate tray that holds 12 regular sized cupcakes or 24 minis. I think it is around $20 full price.

They only take 8-10 minutes to bake. Let me know when you're headed this way and I'll stick some in the oven while starting the coffee, or would you like a cold glass of milk with your snack?

I must be a magpie

Another day in blogland, another confession. If you've read here awhile or know me personally what I am about to say isn't news. I like jewelry. I like fine jewelry. I like costume jewelry. I'd probably wear a necklace made of gum wrappers if I chewed gum. Does gum still come in those foldable wrappers?

In addition to liking shiny objects, it is said that magpies like to talk. I looked that up in a reference book and sure enough, my picture was there right by the definition.

Last night I had my jewelry pliers out to fix something. As long as they were out, I decided to go for some instant gratification and make a few bracelets. Many of the crafts I enjoy take days or weeks to complete. Once in a while it is nice to finish a project or two in one sitting.

First I made a sedate bracelet with Hematite rings with glass pearl-like beads inside and between them. Sometimes I don't want over the top sparkle. This bracelet will fit those times.

I haven't worn much purple in the past but I found that deep purple (the color, not the band) looks ok on me. I've been wanting a bracelet with green and blue in it, along with some purple. A simple linear bracelet isn't much of a design challenge, but I like this because I can stack it with a few others if that is the mood I'm in.

And lastly, we have full blown Magpie. This is the kind that will make Bill raise his eyebrows ever so slightly. After all these years I know he is thinking "you honestly like that???" but he is gracious enough to just smile and say "that's nice dear" while trying not to bite his tongue too hard.

With sewing waiting, two knitting projects barely begun and an ABC scrapbook in the planning stages with only a few images printed so far, making these bracelets scratched a creative itch. And they'll definitely up my bling factor.

Thinking over this magpie business, my sons are very lucky they were named for their father and grandfathers. They could have been Heckle and Jeckle!

And now a word about Words with Friends...

I tried. I tried very hard to resist. Nancy Reagan warned me to Just Say NO but did I listen?

I now play Words With Friends. There. I've said it. I had 6 games going over the weekend, two with random strangers. I feel so dirty.  "Dirty" is 9 points, more if you land on DL, TL, DW or TW.

This is not one of my screens, I found this example online. I know these words. I am pretty good at regular Scrabble.

Here is another example found online. I think most of the people I've played with board game with have used the same types of words I use, meaning common words. Take a look at some of these:

Would you use Ho, Wop, Ae or Es? What is Trad?

In the first game that I played, I wondered where my friend was coming up with some of her strange words. I congratulated her and commented that she must have done many more crosswords than I (something we both enjoy and discover words seldom spoken but used because they fit the puzzle grid) and my friend confessed that she uses cheats.

Say it isn't so! And where do I sign up?     My goodness, there are more cheat apps than there are versions of WWF!

Back in the old days, pre-computer, I did a daily crossword and avoided using a crossword puzzle dictionary until truly stumped. I think I prefer to play WWF this way too. If you use cheats all the time you may as well watch a computer play the game for you.

But it does help when you are stuck with letters Q, K, L, M, U, D and X.  Maybe I should get one of these shirts for those times:

To be followed by this e-greeting.

Look out my friend and relative whose names begin with the letter K!