Sun, sand and superjets

I like vacations.

I like airplanes.

I don't like airplanes right over my head on vacation.

This is Maho Beach in St Maarten. Princess Juliana International Airport is across the street from the beach.


People are actually drawn to the beach because of the airport's location. Here is a posted warning sign and a clip of a take off.

The following quote is from a website about vacation ideas:

Best Time to Visit Maho Beach

If it’s the thrill of landing planes you want (you should, this type of thrill is not offered by any other beach), then the best time to visit Maho Beach is during the weekends. Air traffic is the highest on Saturdays and Sundays with its peak being in early afternoon hours. If you can time your visit to Maho Beach to 1pm – 4pm on a Sunday afternoon, you will see one plane landing after another.

 Is this your idea of fun? The noise alone would bother me.

I guess I will stick to the cottage again this year where I can nap, read or knit on the deck in quiet and the most that might fall on me will be a critique from an opinionated bird. 

Costello calls to buy a computer from Abbott...

I don't know who to credit this twist on an old routine, but a friend of mine passed it on to me today and thought it was worth a smile, especially if you remember Bud Abbott and Lou Costello.

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' routine might have turned out something like this:

ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal.?? What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

A few days later:

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on 'START'!

Am I getting less serious?

Those who have known me a long time would probably never characterize me as a serious person if your definition of serious includes somber, strait-laced and studious. Actually, I can be and often am studious, but I needed another S word for alliteration and couldn't think of another appropriate one.

The idea of me becoming less serious might cause eyeball rolling among some Serious, Strait-laced, Somber acquaintances but I think this is good for them to witness. Their eyeballs need more exercise anyway.

So what prompted this blog entry? Serious cable network news yesterday. I don't know what channel or program Bill was watching but the talking heads were aghast that there is so much media coverage of the royal wedding. "There are important things to report!" they cried.

Well you know what? I cry over much of what is being reported. 

Obviously we do need to know what is going on around the world but I need a break from dismal news. With no disrespect intended, I can't change things in Libya, repair the reactors in Japan, adjust rising gas prices, stop wackos everywhere under ALL brands of religion from verbally and physically attacking those who don't subscribe to their beliefs, break up drug cartels once and forever or stop gang violence.

My attempt at making the world a better place is to take care of my family, hopefully bring smiles and assistance when needed to my neighbors and friends, and branch out from there. Pay it forward. The butterfly effect. Random acts of kindness. I hope that one day we all will begin to concentrate on what is good around us and want to spread more goodness. The older I get (and darn it, that seems to happen every day!) the more I cherish peace and happiness.

I am not really a royal follower but I'll take news of the wedding over another hour long argument over who is responsible for body counts anywhere on the globe. What we all need is balance. I do hear and read about the dire news. The wedding reports are reminders that we don't need to be furious or frightened all the time, and occasionally tears shed while watching the news might be happy ones.

 Now here is something I could get serious about, a book about knitting and look....it is about the royal wedding!  Click here to read about the book at Amazon.

I might need the book just for the Corgi pattern! 

And on a last serious note on royalty....Here is the Prince of Sweetness gazing at his Queen Mum. He never worries about whether or not I am too serious. At least not yet.

Are haircuts painful?

Yesterday my grandson got his first haircut. It looks painful, doesn't it?

It was the buzzing clippers that he didn't like.

Don't try to distract me with a cell phone....

....unless it has a Sprout (children's TV channel) app on it

Did someone else just come in? Are they here to see me too? This tiny shop is full of parents, grandparents and admirers. 

 Why yes, thank you sir, I do like being brushed off.

Grandpa and Daddy didn't cry at all when the clippers were used on them, but I'm sure it was because I sat on their laps and comforted them.

Grandma Knitty, on the other hand, being a big brave girl, went to a salon all by herself a few days ago and got more than a few hairs cut. It wasn't painful at all.

If only it were this easy and painless to trim off excess weight....

Don't take things so literally

I got a new stick deodorant today.

The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom.

I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely...

Monday, Monday....

Even in retirement....

Despite the wintry temperatures, I think I have a bit of spring fever. I have a strange urge to clean and re-decorate. Will I succumb or will this madness pass?

Oh perfect, in addition to cold weather and the silly urge to clean, the tax guy is coming by early this afternoon to go over our returns. This truly is a Monday!

Guess I'll see you in the grocery store. Or the bank. Or by the bucket and mop. Or struggling with boxes of Easter decorations.

What exactly did I retire from and why???

         

Mid-life humor

After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old gal.

Now I have a $500,000.00 home, a $45,000.00 car, a nice big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 69-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old gal, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great?  They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis!