Monday, February 25, 2013


Meow.....I'm feeling catty this morning. Forgive me Dad, if you are reading this from Heaven. I know you said that if I didn't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all, so you might want to skip reading this.

Apparently I am old. How that happened is another story for another day, but I blame my sons. One recently turned 33, the other will soon be 35. You do the math....

I am about to talk fashion. Thank goodness we aren't aren't video blogging as I am in an old robe, slippers and my hair is is what it is.

When I was in my late teens/early twenties, huge bell bottom pants were in fashion. The pants were usually hip huggers or jump suits. Hip huggers required wearing body suits that snapped in the crotch. Good lord...even if I still weighed what I did back in those days, I can't imagine the problems body suits or jump suits would cause. I truly am not incontinent, but something happens to me when I combine grocery shopping (which I hate) with cold weather (which I despise) once my feet cross the threshold upon return. I need to use the potty. Immediately. Sometimes I don't get my coat off. Sometimes I strip it off while doing a mincing shuffle to the bathroom. Struggling out of a jumpsuit or undoing snaps in my nether region would not be conducive to remaining cool, calm and dry.

I'm not telling you this to gross anyone out but to show that I was once a slave, somewhat, to fashion trends. I was agile enough then to carry the look. The worst problem I experienced with those huge bell bottoms was driving in sloppy weather when my platform shoes tracked snow and slush onto my vinyl floor mats. In order to keep my hems clean and dry, the legs of my pants had to be pulled up, usually above my knees.

I am happy to see that tights and stockings in whatever form have returned to the world of fashion. Sometimes it just finishes a look in my opinion, to have a little color on your leg, especially if your leg sports a little color of its own in the manner of a blue vein that you'd like to cover. Confining a few fat cells is always beneficial too, but most of all, covering your legs even with sheer nylons provides a wee bit of warmth.

Remember, I despise cold weather despite living in Michigan my entire life. A few years back when my sons' female contemporaries would go to winter weddings and New Years parties looking gorgeous except for their ice cold feet in strappy high heels with bare legs, I knew that fashion should adapt to the climate.

Last night was the Oscar Awards. I did not intend to watch any of it, but it ran long and when I settled in to watch the 11:00 news, I got almost an hour of Oscars. Morning news, of course, had to cover the awards also. I am happy to see glamor back, but I think the dresses are a wee bit too long.

I witnessed Jennifer Lawrence trip on her dress going up the stairs to accept her award. To be fair, a skirt that full would be problematic going upstairs unless you gently hold the skirt up a bit. I didn't see her hands to know if she tried to do this or was unaware of this necessity. (Can we bring back charm schools and elocution lessons?)
A while later, Meryl Streep walked across the stage to present an award. She appeared to be picking at something on her backside. I thought perhaps a mic was bothering her. It was her heel, caught on her dress. I don't have a photo of that but here she is in the gown.
Now for my next catty observation, why the heck is she slouching and what is she looking at while Daniel Day Lewis gives his speech? She is an accomplished, experienced actress for pete's sake. Can't she stand up straight for a few minutes?
One last example of a dress a tad too long. Reese Witherspoon looks fantastic...except she is standing on her dress. 
It is time for me to drink my saucer of milk and get dressed. I'll be wearing Lands End jeans, a J.C. Penney sweater, hand knit socks, Clark's clogs and jewelry courtesy of T.H.E. Hubby. I will be warmer than Brandi Glanville (should I know who she is???) and from the looks of that bodice, much more comfortable! 


Blondie's Journal said...

Don't get me started on Brandi. That dress is ridiculous. She's a "Housewife", if you want to know.

I noticed way too many strapless gowns. It's getting old. My daughter chose a strapless gown for her wedding but there was little else to look at.

I chose to skip the awards, read the paper and went to bed early. I did enjoy catching up with everything this morning. I think the winners were well deserving.

I do remember the shirts that snapped at the crotch. My mother bought me one when I was about 13 and I was mortified. I had no chest to speak of which embarrassed me to no end and those shirts stretched down tight as a drum. I had to wear it for Mom's sake and I just never got over it. What we do for fashion!


SkippyMom said...

In our teenage land it's as tho' two decades decided to wreck into eachother and wham! We have some pretty bad fashion.

Since I had to buy a lot of new clothes recently I had to update what I usually wore. Not a bad gig [hey! new clothes!] except that my choices were your aforementioned hip hugger bell bottoms [wedged heels with the added fun of a choice of spiked boots too!] or the skin tight, so low cut, "hey I can almost see your woohoohoo" I am constantly dragging them north skinny jeans. 70s meet the 80s, your grandchild is 2013.

Sigh. The only nice thing is sometimes I put on an outfit and suddenly I am transported back to some pretty great memories because I am wearing the EXACT SAME clothing I was wearing in HS and college. I am not kidding. I even have my old high tops [Reebok] back. Gosh I missed those things, hard to find, but I did it. heehee

And speaking of bodysuits? I bought a piece of shapewear [let's call it what it is, shall we? A spandex girdle] last year after I had lost all the weight to just, y'know smooooooooth things out and basically put it all back close to where it used to be. Anyway, I didn't notice it had a snap crotch either. Take a guess how many times I have worn THAT apparatus?

Yeah, letting it all hang loose in the pond since 2012. That's me. That darn thing just sits in my lingerie drawer mocking me. But forget it, I am too old to be fussing with a Onsie on MYSELF.

And btw I did the math. You're not old. You just had your sons while you were in middle school, right? I figure that puts you right at the mid 50s? ::grinning:: Ah, you're young at heart my friend. Hugs and much love! Stay warm. Skippy

Chatty Crone said...

I did most of my watching before the Oscars - and I kind of thought the dresses were very nice this year. I do see what you are talking about though.

Rudee said...

Brandi designed that abomination! Oy.

Meryl was laughing, which was why she was slouched over. DDL was pretty funny and his jokes were personal toward Meryl.

I watched the whole show, waiting for Seth to be irreverent. He was, at times, but I'd rather see him unleashed on a show like Saturday Night Live.

My most favorite pants in the whole wide world were hip huggers with huge bells. Purple. Gorgeous.

michelle said...

It seems the dresses get worse every year. What the heck was that last one thinking? I didn't see the awards, but saw pictures of some of the dresses, that one included.

I loved my big bell bottoms and platform shoes. I remember rolling up the bottoms to keep them dry.

Debbie said...

I loved this post. I guess that makes me catty too. I actually stopped watching the whole red carpet thing years ago because it brought out the meow in me.

And as for the body suits and jumpsuits? Oh, preach it sister. They would be a no no here too.